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Every time someone asks me for my bio, I roll my eyes because, I mean, where do I start? At my birth? Come on. But if you must know, here's some pertinent bio type information. Since graduating summa va bitch from Yale University of Harvard (Dartmouth campus), I have split my time between creating and performing critically acclaimed, crowd-pleasing comedy and various good works that I will explain in greater detail upon request. (If you don't think thinking about the world's troubles while eating Doritos counts as a good work, then you probably shouldn't make a request, since you're obviously a holier-than-thou high-horse-riding ass who would just judge me anyway.) Unless you mean bio in the sense of biosphere, in which case, what the hell are you asking me?
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